It Is Not Well With My Soul: A Two-Volume Series
Grief is an uncomfortable, unfamiliar experience—especially if you’ve never encountered it before. Our instinct is to rush past the pain, get through it, and get back to normal. But, of course, that’s not how grief works.
It Is Not Well With My Soul is a gentle yet honest guide for the journey of grief. Instead of avoiding or trying to fix the pain, it invites you to sit with it. It gives you permission to feel, to grieve, and to say, “It is not well with my soul.”
This journey unfolds in two volumes.
Volume I: Recovering the Art of Grieving is for the beginning of that journey. It is written for the early days of grief, when your world has been turned upside down and simply facing reality feels impossible. Rather than rushing to heal or move on, this book invites you to slow down, make room for your grief, and learn to live with what has happened.
Volume II: Practicing the Art of Grieving (coming soon! Click HERE for a sneak peek!) continues the journey. Once the initial shock has settled, grief begins asking deeper questions. Through guided reflections, creative exercises, and thoughtful practices, this volume helps you intentionally work through the many layers of loss and gradually integrate grief into the story of your life.
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Before the declaration of faith, there must be the confession of pain. Before “It is well,” there is a sacred pause—a moment to admit that we are not okay. It is time to say: “It is not well with my soul.”
what others are saying
It Is Not Well with My Soul is a beautifully written, deeply insightful, analysis of grief and a wonderfully wise guide to the art of grieving. Grief, the author argues, is not a psychological aberration to be cured but, in this world, a natural companion of love: to be accepted and lived with, not suppressed. As the title suggests, the discussion is unflinchingly honest; no pious cant. Psychologically informed, but never burdened. An outstanding contribution to the literature on grief and grieving.
—Nicholas Wolterstorff, Professor Emeritus of Philosophical Theology,
Yale University, author of Lament for a Son
Grief comes to us all. The list of things we grieve is endless and occurs throughout our life. Losing someone we love is perhaps the deepest and hardest grief experience. Vadim does a remarkable job conveying the deep need to grieve, as well as presenting the simplicity of how. Befriend it; don't run from it; learn to walk with it. Recognizing and processing emotion is the starting point in our grieving journey. I highly recommend this book!
—Dr. Glenn Hill, PhD, CST, MFT
founder of Connection Codes
It Is Not Well with My Soul is a powerful and deeply refreshing work that gives people permission to be honest about pain, loss, and grief in a world that constantly tells us to “move on” too quickly. With warmth, wisdom, and incredible vulnerability, the author reminds us that grief is not weakness; it is often the price we pay for loving deeply. The author writes, “Like art, grief doesn’t come with instructions. There’s no single way to piece together the shattered fragments of your life. No correct sequence. No universally “right” way. But there is your way. The only way that makes sense.” What makes this book so impactful is that it doesn’t try to fix people with clichés or easy answers. Instead, it gently points readers toward healing, hope, and the comforting presence of God in the middle of life’s hardest moments. It is honest, pastoral, and deeply needed for anyone walking through loss or helping others carry it.
—Rev. Mark A. Lewis, District Superintendent, British Columbia
and Yukon District, Pentecostal Assemblies of Canada
It Is Not Well with My Soul is a remarkable and deeply moving book that beautifully blends personal story, thoughtful theology, and practical wisdom. Writing as both a pastor and a bereaved father, the author offers an honest, compassionate, and hope-filled guide through the landscape of grief. In a culture that often avoids sorrow or urges us to move on too quickly, this book gently reclaims the lost art of grieving—giving readers permission to lament, to heal, and to discover hope without minimizing their pain. I found it both captivating and immensely valuable, and I will confidently recommend it to many of my clients. The author's ability to weave truth, tenderness, and insight together is truly a gift.
—B. Tammy Bartel, thanatologist, trauma and grief therapist,
member of the International Work Group on Death, Dying and Bereavement
Listen to Vadim talk about his book on the Connection Codes podcast
We're taught to rush past grief. To fix it, explain it, or hurry someone back to "it is well with my soul." Pastor and author Vadim Yurchenko learned the hard way that healing runs the other direction. After losing his newborn daughter, Hope, at just 56 days old, Vadim discovered that before you can say it is well, you have to be honest enough to say it is not well. In this deeply moving conversation with Glenn and Phyllis, he reframes grief not as an enemy to defeat but as love wearing a different face — the "dark side of the moon" that turns out to be full of light. If you've ever lost someone, or sat helpless beside someone who has, this one gives you language for what you couldn't name.
In this episode:
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Why "grief is love" — and the NASA image that changes how you'll see loss forever
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The difference between grief (the event) and grieving (the choice), explained through an earthquake
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How all eight core emotions fire at once in loss — and why that's not disordered, it's designed
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Being angry at God: why honesty draws you closer, not further away
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The relief-and-guilt no one warns you about when a long illness ends
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Presence over fixing: what to do when you don't know what to say
YOUR PURCHASE HELPS PROVIDE FREE GRIEF SUPPORT IN UKRAINE
A portion of every book sale will go toward translating this book into Ukrainian. By purchasing a copy, you’re helping someone in Ukraine receive this resource for FREE as they grieve the loss of a loved one.
free GRIEF resource
Find where you are—so you can take your next step.
The Grief Map is a short, practical guide designed to help you figure out your next step on your journey of grief.
Inside, you’ll find:
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a clear way to understand what you’re experiencing
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a simple assessment tool to help you figure out where you are in your grief
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gentle guidance for what your next step might look like
This isn’t about rushing you or trying to fix anything.
It’s about helping you:
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understand what you are experiencing
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locate yourself on the journey
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begin moving forward at a pace that feels honest and right for you
We created this guide out of our own journey through loss—and a desire to walk with others as they navigate theirs.
Enter your email below and we’ll send the free PDF copy of the Grief Map directly to your inbox.
The Grief Map
